The Pavement of Transparency

The following is an excerpt from Sharing Christ When You Feel You Can't.

The Pavement of Transparency

Somehow we Christians have convinced ourselves that everything has to be perfect. Anything less is failure before a watching world. That's incredible pressure, isn't it? But actually as we love people, we can honestly let them know where we hurt, what we don't know, or what we're just not good at.

A pastor preaching to his congregation about temptation risked his reputation when he told them that several weeks earlier a member had given him a $100 bill after the service, telling him to include it with the morning offering. The pastor stuck the bill in his pocket and then forgot about it until he got home later that day.

Finding the bill, he absentmindedly tossed it on his dresser, intending to take it to church the next day. A day turned into several weeks, and still the bill remained on his dresser. Then he made up all kinds of excuses why he should just keep the bill and not turn it into the church. He shared all the temptations and rationalizations he faced as that $100 bill lay on his dresser.

I thought to myself as he was preaching, Wow! That's what you call transparency! Do you think he had everyone's attention as he confessed that he was tempted? His openness resulted in greater ministry.

If we expect people to trust us and open their lives to us, we can't pretend to be too good to be true.

If someone asked me, "Dan, do you have family devotions with your wife and kids?" I'd have to say, "Yes and no." Sometimes we are all together and can fit it in; sometimes we are all going different directions and we can't.

"Do you pray with your kids?"

"Well, yes and no." If you mean, do I have a set time every day when we sit down together and pray as a family, no. But we pray when there is a need, and we pray when there's a hurt. We pray when we are happy and we want to thank the Lord, and we pray when we are sad and need His comfort.

We talk about the Lord and His work when we drive to the mall and when we watch TV and when we sit down to eat together. God is very much a part of our family.

When we are upset or angry, we don't hide it just so others will be impressed with our spirituality. If I am upset with my wife, why not get it out and get things fixed up again rather than hiding my anger? We have to be transparent with those who see us day in and day out because when we put on masks, sooner or later they slip and the truth is obvious to everyone.

If you are building a relationship with someone and you are going through a difficult time, why hide it? I'd rather say, "I'm hurting right now, but I'm so glad I have the Lord. I know He's near me and He always gives me just when I need to make it through."

Someone might say, "God must be your crutch." You bet He is. Sometimes I can't keep walking, and I'm glad He's there to hold me up!

We've all seen the self-made man or woman who suddenly is faced with a disaster-perhaps being diagnosed with cancer. The arrogance evaporates. We all need someone to care about us when we hit the hard times, and it is a lot easier to find people who will care if we haven't tried to live life alone.

We are all imperfect and weak, and that will become evident to all who know us-even our friends who don't know the Christ who supplies our strength to endure. Don't set yourself up for a great unveiling later on. Be real.

I am impressed by the transparency of the apostle Paul. People could see Jesus in Paul precisely because of his weaknesses and his refusal to hide them:

But we have this treasure [the Gospel] in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you. -2 Corinthians 4:7-12

If we walk with the Lord daily, people will see Jesus in the midst of our hardships, not apart from them. Then when they fall on hard times, they will listen to us because we have first listened to Him.

Max Lucado, one of my favorite authors, is adept at bringing out the humanness of Jesus' disciples. They were terrified at times; sometimes they were cowards; in between they were discouraged or depressed. They had a full range of human emotions, but we act as if we should be above all that. "I'm a Christian. I'm supposed to be godly all the time." Only God can make us godly, and He does so as we allow Him to do His work in us. But that transformation is a process, and none of us has arrived yet. We are being changed, but en route to our destination the people around us will appreciate us so much more and listen to our message more intently if we will be honest with them.

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